No reply

You know what type of people I hate most? Those spineless jerks that can’t find the courage to send you a freaking email and tell you in one sentence, sorry, we don’t want to hire you. Instead, they make you go in infinite circles. Those are the type that say you’re awesome and a perfect fit and they will call back BUT, they don’t. They will stop replying to your emails and if you call they say they’re looking at your profile and will let you know by tomorrow. Then they blacklist your number and won’t pick up anymore. If you call from an alternate number, they say they JUST saw your profile again, and then nothing…

My hatred for you, is beyond what you can imagine.

Employment agencies? Recruiter? What a joke.

I want to start by apologizing to every single person that works in an “employment agency” or is a recruiter at one. Your job is a joke and so are you. You don’t contribute to the society in any positive way. You only drain money and waste job seekers’ time.

Those of you who are thinking of sitting on your behind and letting a recruiter or agency do your job search for you, I hope this post will convince you to re-evaluate your decision. I have to mention that what I write here is a summary of my OWN experience as an entry level scientist.

When I started my job search, I sent out my application to every single job agency in Toronto. I was sure that with my credentials I will get hired in a week. Today, 4 months after, I’ve realized what those agencies actually do: They empty new-immigrants’ pockets with the empty promises. With this trick, they get money from people, government and employers. Fill up their own pockets (basically create jobs for themselves) and you’ll never hear back from them. In those “rare” cases when they actually find you a position, it will be a temporary position of 3 months and good luck convincing your next interviewer why you were let go after 3 months. Mind you, from your salary about 3$/hour goes to the employment agency. Conclusion: Agencies get rewarded for ruining your life.

My experience with the university’s career centers haven’t been that great either. The first time I was there to have my resume looked over the adviser gave me a bunch of tips on how to modify my resume and how some things should be on the first page and some things on the second page. I modified my resume and I was back in a week. The adviser sat down with me again and told me the opposites of what she had told me before and said that I need to take a resume writing class and that job finding class and what not because my resume was so bad. I mentioned (truthfully) that I had gotten an interview! The speed at which she took her words back and how she was stumbling was actually funny (or sad, depending on how you look at it). So basically, you’re paying your school to pay an idiot that has never had to go through a job search herself since 1980′s and is comfortable in her position and talks out of her @ss.

Now, I want to exempt some job finding agencies from my rants. I had a good experience with St. Stephan’s at Bathurst and St.Clair. The lady there, told me straight up that there’s nothing they can do for me. In fact, she told me there’s nothing that ANY employment agency could do for “professional” job seekers. Unlike, ‘another’ government funded agency that wasted my time for months, telling me he’s in contact with company X and I’m getting an interview anytime.

If you’re still not convinced… This might help:

“I do s**t, you pay me”

I just finished the first phone interview of my life and I have to say, it did not go as expected.

Here’s the story:

The job I applied for was a scientific-equipment-sales position. I am very chatty and my side-job in sales hadn’t been sooo bad… also, I’m hitting a new financial low. So I decided a sales job than no job at all.

The HR manager called me one day after sending in my resume and asked if I would be ready for a phone interview the day after. Of course I was. I also knew (thanks to Google) that the questions she was going to ask me would be the generic interview question; Who are you? What do you do? Why you?, etc. I thought I was ready.

Well she called and the first thing she asked was “Why us”. The “us” part of the question caught me off-gaurd. I was not ready for this. The only answer that came to my mind right away was “I do sh*t, you pay me” and with this answer galloping in my head my mouth was stuttering in find a polite/logical/smart answer. I want to write what I actually replied, but my mind is blank. Same with the rest of the questions. I just remember saying bye-bye, looking at the clock and there goes 30 minutes of my life I will not remember.

And there goes a job I thought I would easily get.

Interview from hell

You think after suffering six freaking years of post-secondary it will get easier… no it doesn’t. Now you have to find a job.

Last week, after hundreds of emails and phone calls and applications for this and that, I got a call to go to an interview. The lady that called sounded professional enough and kep answering my every question with “Come to the interview and we’ll talk about it”. Fair enough. On the bright side, Google map showed an actual company and a very outdated website. But joblessness demanded that I made the best of the situation.

Monday morning, sharp, on the hour, I get to the company. I walk in and the receptionist tells me to wait in the conference room at the end of the hallway. Problem? Yes, there’s about eight (8) others sitting in that room, staring at me as I walk in. It took me a few seconds to register that everyone was be-speckled and in formal clothing. Clearly, it was supposed to be a group interview. Fine. I sit and pretend I’m texting. Thirty minutes passes and the room is so quiet that everyone can hear my stomach growling. I had planed to grab breakfast after what I thought would be a quick 30 minute interview and yet, I’m sitting there not knowing wtf is going to be happening when the receptionist comes in again and distributes some single page application forms. She tells us the recruiting manager will be in shortly. Sure enough, the quote quote, recruiting manager slash quality control manager slash a million other titles comes in and tells us she’s going to conduct one on one interviews. Everyone’s faces look shocked but no one complains.

Long story short. Two hours later and I’m still siting there with 3 others. In my head I’m reciting swear words in every language I know and thinking to myself that the pay must be sooo good that is going to be worth my time.

She finally calls my name and I go inside the room for the freaking interview, trying to keep the freaking smile to my face and not punch anyone. Inside the room, there’s one other person that I’m told is the chemist and those that get hired will directly work with her. She’s Asian and senile and refused to say a word or show any emotions throughout this interaction. The recruiter/QA manager/other-random-roles girl starts the conversation by telling me that the job is “very” entry level and requires basic chemistry and basic literature knowledge . I asked “How entry level are we talking about?” and she replied “well lets say you will be responsible for keeping the maintaining the dishes and if our chemist wants you can hold her flasks up for her to mix chemical. But you will take on more complex tasks after you are through with your 6 initial months”. My mouth was wide open. She then asked me whether I wished to proceed with the interview. Like I would say no after tolerating 3 hours of staring at a wall. I might have just nodded because I remember I didn’t have the energy to say yes.

She seems relieved and asks me what I know about their company. I make something up and she proceeds to tell me they manufacture X and Y, but they focus on X. Again, I don’t care. She asks how comfortable I am multi-tasking and working in a lab. I open my mouth to tell her that right on top of my resume, I clearly state that I have n-years of lab work experience and freaking Masters and so and so…!!  Geez, Can’t she read? WTH is she asking me all this non-sense? We’ve been in the room for 5 minutes now and I still have to hear something good. This comes next.

She proceeds to “Tell you a little more about the job”: ” As I mentioned it’s an entry level job with the opportunity to get promoted after 6 months. They pay for the first six months would be <insert salary of a 15 year old McD cashier> but after you will get $1000 promotion so the total would be <insert salary of a 15 year old McD cashier+$1000>. I probably looked very shocked because she asked me if I was ok and whether I had any questions. My brain was refusing to believe what it had just analyzed so I asked whether she knew the salary she offered was actually 2/3 of a graduate student’s stipend and whether she knew I was a graduate student. She might have said something along the lines of its an entry level job but I’m not sure I was listening to her anymore. I was calculating the hourly rate and I had just reach a minimum-wage/hr conclusion.

She asked again whether she should proceed with the interview. This time my mouth disconnected any communications with my brain and this came out “Are you kidding? You   wasted three hours of my time to tell me I will be working as a lab bench slash dish washer for less than what I would get paid if I stayed an underpaid/overworked student?” “HOW can you be more poor than a student?”.

I don’t remember what she said after but I remember walking to my car, thinking that our chances of curing cancer in this lifetime is pretty low.